Our sexuality is physically and emotionally a source of satisfaction and is life affirming, however, the process of becoming ill can create a sense of doubt in who we are sexually and our ability to respond. For men, your sexual response stages (desire, excitement, erection, ejaculation and orgasm) can be affected separately due to separate systems of control in your body. Sexual arousal and orgasm pleasure often are not affected, even though cancer treatment may inhibit the ability to get an erection. For a complete explanation of male and female anatomy during the sexual response stages, please see the Masters, Johnson, and Kolodny reference in the reference pages of this "Learn" section.

The sexual response in women (desire, excitement, expanding and lubricating of the vagina, and orgasm) is less well understood. If the anatomy or nerve structure of the clitoris or vagina is affected or if other weakness or fatigue occurs due to cancer treatment, you may feel a diminished sexual desire. Sometimes, painful intercourse may be another factor that can decrease or prevent orgasm.

Other added physical or emotional problems can also be involved in your ability to function sexually. Many people suffer other chronic illnesses in which the medication or illness itself prevents adequate sexual function, such as for some people with diabetes or high blood pressure. Alcoholism or drug abuse, past physical and/or sexual abuse, or irresponsible sexual behavior can also prevent proper sexual response.

If you don't feel attractive and desirable because of cancer and its treatment, you may feel that you don't deserve the pleasure of giving and receiving sexual pleasure. However, what often happens instead is that your partner does desire sexual activity but feels guilty about having a sexual interest in you because you are ill. Therefore what can happen is that both of you may avoid any intimate or sexual contact at a time when you may need it the most. Many cancer patients report that they continue to enjoy being close but there is a decrease in the desire for sexual intercourse until they regain strength and begin to feel more "normal". Please give yourself permission to take your time to heal and to simply enjoy a close relationship with your partner, spouse or other family members.

If you are in the age group where fertility is of importance to you, it is suggested that you make contact with a group called "fertile Hope" at 888-994-HOPE (also see Web Resources). It is important for you to have appropriate information about reproductive risks associated with treatment. There are increased options for men and women to preserve fertility after cancer treatment. It is also essential that you use good birth control because there may be health risks if females become pregnant during treatment and/or the health of the baby may be in jeopardy if pregnancy occurs during treatment.