How to Cope With Cancer in Your Family

It is not easy to find out that someone close to you has cancer. Coping with this fact is difficult and you may not know how to act around the person. First, it is OK to be sad. It is even fine to let the person know how sorry you are to learn of their disease. Other than that, treat the cancer patient as you normally would. In order to fight the disease, the person has to have the will to fight. Let them know they are surrounded by people who care and encourage them to be strong. - Holliee on 1/17/2012 

Cancer is often a very painful and difficult experience for families. The most important concept to keep in mind is empathy. Loved ones should remember that facing serious medical conditions and contemplating mortality is often a scary, overwhelming process. Patients should remember that families and friends endure fear of the future as well, so it is important to keep communication lines open and practice patience and compassion with one another. - Anonymous on 1/17/2012 

Cancer is extremely tough to handle in a family. It is so scary and there are so many variables as what happens to one afflicted member is not necessarily at all what happens to another. I know this first hand from various family members who had cancer. I believe the most important thing is just to be supportive and allow one another to grieve or deal with the situation on their own terms. We're all different and sometimes we need our space to get through while others need closeness and lots of hugs. - NewlyWed on 1/23/2012 

The important thing to remember when dealing with a cancer diagnosis is open and honest communication. Life is finite and health can create complications; that is not something that people can control. However, individuals can control the way they cope with such circumstances. Treating each other with dignity, respect and compassion is essential for any family learning to deal with the pain or fear of a serious medical condition. - searude on 1/31/2012 

My husband is now in remission, but he has to go back for cancer checkups every six months to be sure the cancer has not returned. It is hard when he gets ready to go back to the doctor because I am always afraid the test results will show that the cancer is back, even if he is feeling okay. It has been 7 years now and I still go through this every time he goes back to the doctor. I am still working how to cope with this aspect of having cancer in our family. - shellers2 on 2/6/2012 

I'm sorry to hear about the person who wrote the first comment and her husband. I know my mother goes back in for similar checkups twice a year and I'm constantly afraid she will find out the cancer is back. I think the best way to cope with cancer in the family is totally open communication. Don't keep anything from each other, if someone is sick, everyone needs to know. It may be painful, but it's far better than trying to keep something as major as cancer a secret. - BIZman34 on 2/14/2012 

Having a family member with cancer is one of life's most difficult experiences. It is an emotional roller-coaster for everyone, not just the patient. Remember that family is the patient's best source of strength and encouragement, and that in order to support the patient, family members need to be there for each other. They need to cry, to laugh, to grieve together, in order to keep themselves healthy. - Anonymous on 2/21/2012 

Coping with cancer in the family is never an easy thing to do. My own grandfather was diagnosed with the later stages of prostate cancer. This eventually took a detrimental toll on his body and the entire family was thrown into a black hole of despair. Hospital staff members, as I learned throughout this affair, are a great shoulder to lean on. - xoellarae on 2/27/2012 

I concur with the person whose husband has to keep going back for tests to see if the cancer has come back. It is always a scary experience, but it is a very necessary one. When we went through cancer, I always tried to be supportive. It was hard to deal with the fact that I was not the center of attention anymore. I learned to be selfless and forgiving, and I am thankful for that. - HannaGoSoccer1 on 3/23/2012 

Having experienced cancer in my family, I know that it is a terrible thing to endure, but you have to stay positive for your loved one. If you feel that you are struggling with it, reach out to another family member and remember to voice your emotions! - longislandlatte on 3/27/2012 

I agree with the first poster that it is not easy to find out that someone close to you has cancer. I found out my grandfather had cancer, and I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know who to talk to, so I went to mosque and talked to my imam. He told me to have faith that whatever happens is for the best, so I treated my granddad like I always did, and tried to make the best of the time we had left. Two years later, he is cancer free. Never forget that even though times may seem hard, you're never alone. Whether you believe in God or not, you will always have people in your life to love and support you. Never be afraid to talk about what you're going through or admit that you are scared. You are loved. - rabbrevett on 3/30/2012 

It is hard for me to deal with my mother-in-law's cancer. She had breast cancer and fought through it. Right now she has bone cancer and is giving up. We are trying to make her life as happy as possible hoping she will regain some hope. - Burch75 on 4/3/2012 

I agree that cancer is a devastating issue for families to deal with. The most important thing for not only the patient who is suffering from cancer but the family on a whole is to be open and supportive of each other and communicate freely. - Jononoj4 on 4/7/2012 

Just learning about my younger brother, 14 years difference in age, being diagnosed with cancer in prancreas, liver and a lymph node. Haven't asked about prognosis or what stage . I do know they are going to start chemo. I am a born again Christian so I am not questioning why, only praying for a healing. The helplessness is the hardest so far. If I could I would take this on myself, not because I am so much stronger but it would be easier for me to be involved than on the outside looking in and being unable to do anything to ease the pain or fear or anger. Thank God for friends and family. Let's pray for each other. - Linda on 4/11/2012